There ain’t nothing like a man…


What is about the opposite sex?  Besides the great bodies? And the deep, lovely voices? And those calloused hands? And…

I could go on and on about the things that are great about men, but it’s the things that aren’t quite so great that are interesting me this week. They’re not big things, but they’re interesting and more than a bit telling. I’ve got stories coming out the wazoo for some reason – some from the office, some from friends, some from the home front. Some I witnessed in person, some I’ve just heard about. Doesn’t matter, though, it just seems to be a general theme this week.

What is it about men and time?

Example #1:  He says, We’re getting up at 6:30 tomorrow morning. My friend, not too keen on the whole idea, hears the we and gets up at 6:30. He gets up at 8:00. Huh? So she loses her Saturday sleep-in and they don’t do whatever it was he had planned for that hour and a half.

Example #2: He says, I’ll be in early on Tuesday, but doesn’t arrive until late in the afternoon, while the receptionist spends all day telling people he’ll be in first thing – many of them two or three times – because early generally means sometime in the morning.

Example #3: He says, Don’t forget to go to the store and pick up enough eggs and milk for me while you’re away. This is one day before my friend is leaving for two weeks and three hours after she’s returned from the big shopping expedition to fill the fridge and freezer and pantry for her absence. Asked if there was anything he needed before she left on the expedition, he said no. Three hours later, he needs milk and eggs.

Example #4: He says, Let me help you with that, but what he meant was Let me help you with that when the hockey game is over. By that time the dishes are done, the garbage is out, the leftovers are packed up and in the refrigerator.

Remember that book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus? I didn’t read it, but I think I’ve figured it out. The length of a day for a man is completely different than the length of a day for a woman. John Gray got it wrong – days on Mars are just slightly longer than on Earth, while a single day on Venus is the equivalent of 243 earth days.

What does this mean? Men calculate time based on Venus days, women calculate time based on Mars days.


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